Abuse against Men

If you’re a man in an abusive relationship, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Abuse of men happens far more often than you might expect—in both heterosexual and same sex relationships. It happens to men from all cultures and all walks of life, regardless of age or occupation. Figures suggest that as many as one in three victims of domestic violence are male. However, men are often reluctant to report abuse because they feel embarrassed, fear they won’t be believed, or are scared that their partner will take revenge An abusive partner may hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things, or destroy your possessions. To make up for any difference in strength, they may attack you while you’re asleep or otherwise catch you by surprise. They may also use a weapon, such as a gun or knife, or strike you with an object, abuse or threaten your children, or harm your pets Of course, domestic abuse is not limited to violence. Emotional and verbal abuse can be just as damaging. As a male, your spouse or partner may:
  • Verbally abuse you, belittle you, or humiliate you in front of friends, colleagues, or family, or on social media.
  • Be possessive, act jealous, or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful.
  • Take away your car keys or medications, try to control where you go and who you see.
  • Try to control how you spend money or deliberately default on joint financial obligations.
  • Make false allegations about you to your friends, employer, or the police, or find other ways to manipulate and isolate you.
  • Threaten to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids if you leave. As an abused man, you may face a shortage of resources, a lack of understanding from friends church and family, and legal obstacles, especially if trying to gain custody of your children from an abusive mother. Whatever your circumstances, though, you can overcome these challenges and escape the violence and abuse.

You may feel that you have to stay in the relationship because:

You feel ashamed. Many men feel great shame that they’ve been abused, been unable to stand up for themselves, or somehow failed in their role as a male, husband, or father.

Your religious beliefs dictate that you stay or your self-worth is so low that you feel this abusive relationship is all you deserve.

There’s a lack of resources. Many men worry they’ll have difficulty being believed by the authorities, or that their abuse will be minimized because they’re male, or find there are few resources to specifically help abused men.

You’re in denial. Just as with female domestic violence victims, denying that there is a problem in your relationship will only prolong the abuse. You may still love your partner when they’re not being abusive and believe they will change or that you can help them. But change can only happen once your abuser takes full responsibility for their behavior and seeks professional treatment.

You want to protect your children. You worry that if you leave, your spouse will harm your children or prevent you from having access to them. Obtaining custody of children is always challenging for fathers, but even if you are confident that you can do so, you may still feel overwhelmed at moment

Protect self from abuse

Domestic violence and abuse can have a serious physical and psychological impact. The first step to protecting yourself and stopping the abuse is to reach out. Talk to a friend, family member, or someone else you trust, or call a domestic violence helpline. Admitting the problem and seeking help doesn’t mean you have failed as a man or as a husband. You are not to blame, and you are not weak. As well as offering a sense of relief and providing some much-needed support, sharing details of your abuse can also be the first step in building a case against your abuser.

Survivors of domestic abuse often suffer from anxiety nsomnia, and PTSD symptoms such as panic attacks and disturbing flashbacks of the abuse. Counseling and support groups can help ease these symptoms, but our counselor and group members can’t be with us every moment of the day. The Holy Spirit is always with us. Meditate on these verses to remember that with God, whose love is perfect, there is no fear. Remember that he wants peace for you, not anxiety. One of the most important things you can do if you have been in an abusive relationship is to find a community of believers. It can be hard to do this, whether you currently go to church, haven’t been in a long time, or are just now starting on your Christian walk. But if you’ll let yourself be known, you’re likely to find there are many people who want to pray for and help you. Emotional support is vital when recovering from domestic abuse.